That Medical Viva Moment

"Who's next?"the doctor asked.
I looked around frantically.There was no sign of other rolls and my roll number was the last .
It's my turn,so fast? I wondered.
Roll 198 bobbed me up and down the moment she came out of the professor's room.
My head felt light and I saw everything around me in a haze.
'Salam Sir,'I greeted the sir.
'Sit, Malaysian?'he questioned.
'Yes,'I said while pulling the chair without making any noise.
Being a foreign student,I realized, during each viva, it's like an Olympic game.You're alone but you're representing your country.You screw up,your whole country get the bad name.
And most of the time, aiming for a 'gold' medal is purely luck.

"Tell me the difference between prosopagnosia  and synaesthesia."

F*ck,I thought.During vivas,when things seems unfavourable, interlinking is the secret weapon to avoid looking stupid.I knew agnosia is inability to recognize thing but what does prosop means?,I wondered.I heard that word before but brain love to freeze at such critical moment.
What is the exact definition of synaesthesia?? I'm done I thought.I started with things that I knew.
"Sir, people with synaesthesia are more prone to using metaphors, thinking in abstract, mixing number and colors & I paused for 4 seconds.And the next word came to my mind ;more common in artist."

 He doesn't seems happy at all,"Then what's prosopagnosia?"
"Ahhhh,Sir its... In...In..inability to recognize ..." The next word is the real deal.
What should I guess,in capgras' syndrome patient can recognize face but can't make association with familiarity,so does it related to face?
Let's try my luck & I changed the whole sentence to be in a safe side.
"Patient aren't blind,they can read but they can't recognize people's face."
And he smiled,"Good."
This picture reminded me of that morning.
And he said,"Study more!You should suffer with your books.There's no such thing as luck and that is why nothing is Impossible.Go!".
2 years later,I realized,there's no such thing as luck,but for the heart that have faith, the Universe always have some magic for them.

Friends and Family are The same.

"One night in going through some papers"I continued,"I came across the long forgotten picture.This is it.It brought up old memories and I started aimlessly to read one of the note behind the picture.Do you know it is strange how things happen;how in just a flashing moment of time everything become different,"I said feelingly.

She started to sympathize but I interjected,
"They weren't friends,they're family."

Years have passed since that day,but the memories and feelings stayed the same.

"As I read,a sentence leaped up at me,and it did alot of difference back then."

"What was that wonderful sentence?I wanted to know,"she asked in astonishment.

I quoted it slowly,"Don't always look down at yourself cz there's alot of smartness in you and bring it out to show the world who you are."

Her voice was surprisingly clear and her arms stretched out as happily as when she had welcome me,
"Now I know why you mentioned them as your family."

She turned and looked at me with tears and showed a gesture to see her father lying there in the coffin.The pain was unbearable and I can't utter a word, that's when I realized how much they meant for me.

Bad Choices Makes a Good Story | Pallavi 💜 | 5920

Last year,when I started to fix everything.

                         First Prof

Second Prof 1st Attempt

Second Prof 2nd Attempt

Final Prof

My friend's result.One day,when he see this,he will smile.

Mine.

Second Attempt.Look at the date.

What I wrote in my diary.The reason why I selected 9th May is because of one thing,the thing that I did 1 year ago,on this day 15th Dec 2017.

Infact, I'm still here today,able to write this was because of this one thing.

What I did playfully changed my whole life.

Today,15th Dec 2018 but the post was posted one year ago,today.

I changed ☝🏼into 👇🏼.

Back then her profile's name was this.

When I look back,it sounds silly but this picture here gave me some sort of pseudo hope and was the main reason for me being alive today ,became a doctor and started my own marketing company. 

That is why I picked 9th May, it's her birthday.

I don't know if it's coincidence or some sort of magic,but the result came out exactly a day before 9th May 18.

Then on 11th May 18,I saw this car on the way to temple.I took a picture of the car and edited the number plate with these numbers.

5920

Which stands for 9th May 1992.

Simplified into 592 and I added a 0 to the end to match my birthday,which was 20th.

I don't know back then that 592 is cobra's number.Whenever I ride the bike,I felt like I'm on a cobra like Lord Shiva.🤭

My imagination and childishness doesn't match my age.The kid in me never dies.

I took it really serious and ordered this particular numbers from JPJ for rm290.

Soon I will get the same car as well. 🤭

I saw the same number plate  in front of the 

Bike shop ~Sign from the Universe.

I bought the bike on 11th Oct because I don't want to forget the date.It's my good friend's birthday.

So she was everywhere around me.

And some people don't like it.🙄

Once in awhile ,I shamelessly did something like this 😅

In the end,I realized bad choices make a good story.Before I delete everything,let me keep a reminder of my silliness.Thanx Pallavi for everything, goodbye.

 

If you can see it in your mind,you have courage enough to speak it,it will definitely manifest.

How to Be Peaceful

"So you want my personal answer for having peace of mind?"
"I want it,"he declared.
 "All right,here it is ,but better hold on to your seat.And don't give me an argument, either.Take it or leave it,you asked for it.It's Attitude.

It's not what you look,its  how you look at it.It's not what you think,but how you think .Failure isn't failure if we discover its lessons.If you make the same mistakes over and over again and don't learn anything from them,then you have failed.It is in time of adversity that we grow the most,right?"

 A dead silence fell.Finally he turned up and looked back.
"Hey ,you know something?I was expecting something else and that was very straight."

We both laughed.

"At any time,it is possible to develop mental attitude to a conscious level where nothing can depreciate a zestful reaction to the experience of living."

Bangladesh

The place that taught me

"It's not what you look at that counts,but how you look at it.It's not what you hear,but how you hear it.It's not what you think but how you think."

Type 1 Diabetes vs Type 2 Diabetes

"There'a a big difference between type 1 & type 2 diabetes that Google  won't explain."

"Can you explain more ?I don't understand the eating pattern.How can I build muscle having such health problems?"he questioned.

"People with type1 DM will be advised to take regular intake of carbs with meals and the dose of insulin will be match with it.For type2 DM, about 60% restriction of carbs from total energy intake is recommended .If there's additional complication in both cases,I will modify your whole diet but you're just fine."

"Type 1 DM caused by profound insulin deficiency & it requires replacement therapy but in type 2 DM,patient usually still have some capacity to secrete insulin but there is a resistance to insulin's action and impaired pancreatic beta cell function."

"What's that ,pancreatic beta cell?"he asked.

"Alpha cells produce glucagon while beta cells produce insulin.In type 1 DM,there will be slow destruction of insulin secreting beta cell due to T cell mediated autoimmune disease.So classical symptoms only visible when 70-90% of the cell have been destroyed."

"Any ways to prevent it?"he asked.

"I'm not sure.Bovin serum albumin from cow milk been implicated in triggering type 1 DM,so infants given cow milk than breastfed more likely to develop it in later life.Stress,viral infections too may precipitate it.There is a  hygiene hypothesis that says that reduce exposure to microorganisms in early childhood may limit maturation of immune system and increase susceptibility to autoimmune disease.So basically,genetic,environmental factors and bad luck are the culprits."

How to Practice an Instrument

Months back,when I first bought a keyboard it was extremely frustrating.It felt like your mind is trying to do more but your fingers can't cooperate.
That evening I sat infront of my brain and eyeball Anatomy book;after years.I refreshed that there are 2 neural tissue,grey and white matter.

'Petechiae on their surface due to fat embolism looks beautiful but it's deadly for the bearer.That is why long bone's fracture should be treated asap.'
I turned the next page.
'Grey matter passes info in brain,directing signal & sensory stimulus to nerve cells while white matter mostly made up of fatty  and nerve tissue. Info travel from grey matter to our body & muscle through chain of nerve fibers call axon.'
I learnt when we practice,the axon in white matter wrapped with fatty substance called myelin changed.This fatty abundance is why omega and good fats are essential to our brain and cholesterol is needed for production & functions of our hormones,enzymes and certain cells.Body produce around 75% of blood cholesterol.Even if you don't take it,it can compensate with negative feedback mechanism.Just that overtaking will cause unnecessary problems when added with too much sodium and sedentary lifestyle.
Well back to the myelin sheath that insulate the axon;with practice,this covering will increase.More layer ,more insulation & this super highway passes info more efficiently.This is called muscle memory but infact they don't hold any memories rather they give the edge with efficiency.
I learnt practise alone don't do the magic,the quality & efficiency differ with the amount of intense focus,targeting the weakness,do without mental stress and distractions and with breaks during practice.If you're lazy then,practice in vivid details in brain(what I used) and once the physical motion has been established,it manifest like a magic when we touch any instrument in person.

The Lonely Sun

"The sun is such a lonely star.Whenever he comes out to see his friends,they all disappear."

"That's sad."

"Don't worry,turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you.Be his new friend.Be a star."

Lessons of Life and Fitness

Years apart & I learnt one of the important lessons of life.
Infact it is a mistake almost every weight lifter will do;did in the past.

When we started,the person we try to become is an unrealistic idol.Someone who is way too gigantic,unaesthetic and definitely beyond the point of achievable for a normal person.

Everyday,every month passed by with disappointments til many jeopardize their health with steroids yet can't be like Arnold.

I realized the same thing happened with everything around me.I tried to be as smart as my Sri Lankan classmate but studying 10 hours per day isn't my cup of tea.I tried to be a photographer like my friend while what I really love was videography.I tried to be an alpha for a girl when I'm clearly aware that I'm a sigma type,the introverted alpha.

I saw everything around me,I tried to be everything that wasn't me without realizing
short term success isn't good for long term business.

I failed to realize that saying and doing what I feel like doing is not rude but being real.With time,I realized everything that is visible to eyes aren't worthy to our heart because life seems  unfair to many naked eyes but in long run it pays all the souls equally.

And most of the time,it's okay to be you,without your 'mask',without trying to be someone else.

The Magic Of Darkness

"Do you believe in magic?"
-Those who don't believe in magic will never find it & normal people have no idea how beautiful and magical the darkness is.

Difference betwenn Humans and Animals

"When humans act with cruelty we characterize them as 'animals',yet the only animals that display cruelty is humanity."

Respect Should be Earned.

"I want to put that flag on moon,"and we both laughed.
"Why?So much of pride?"
"Not exactly.When I was out of the country,I realized how each nation take care of their citizen,even third world countries cared way much of their people.And I sensed how I was differ.I want to earn that and I will."

How to Ignore Being Judged.

"Advise is different , sharing their lessons from their experience is different.Take what you need and ignore the rest."

 "But sometimes,I don't know how to avoid  judgement from relatives and close friends.It hurts at times,"he mumbled.

 "It happens for everyone.Look deeper and you will know why you don't have to give a fck."

"What do you mean?"he questioned.

 "There  are many unhappy,addictive,
personally and internally broken people out there and they're the one that usually passing judgement.
Aunties that gossip  about other people's kid with neighbours every evening.So called decent uncles that cheated their wives and having affairs at work place.Back stabbing friends.'Brother' that have 4 gfs,'sisters' that betrayed her loyal partner.See deeper,fault might be vary,but no one is perfect."

 "Does that mean you shouldn't care about anyone's words?"he was curious.

 "Pay attention to words from you inner circle.As i said before,take what you need and..,"before I end my sentence,
"What's inner circle?"he asked.

"How old are you?"
 "Just finished SPM yesterday,"he answered.

"To make it easy to understand,people that can see your Whatsapp stories."

 "How about Instagram?"he questioned.

 "Not everyone on your Ig or Fb has you number right?"I smiled.

Trees Under The Sky

"Imagine if trees gave off WiFi signals,we would be planting so many trees and we'd probably save the planet too."

-Too bad they only produce the oxygen we breathe.

Why Do We Pray?

Why do we seek God?
 "It's because we can't see him."

 - "If we can?"

 "Then there won't be a difference between God and us and humans will overtake God himself.