What Shyness does to an Introvert

Today during a medical camp conducted by Mexchange sponsored by Magical Light foundation Singapore,I saw this boy.Maybe 7 or 8 years old,sitting at the corner of a bench,eyes full of questions but no guts to come forward and ask.I felt like I saw myself in him.I dont know what people term it but it's an unpleasant feeling inside and I could realized it from his restless motion.You feel like screaming,fuck you go stand behind but something in you will tell you,-its okay just leave it and stand..

You never  actually voice out for your rights.During my schools days,whenever we won any games like hockey or cricket,the next Monday I wont go to the school..Its like,I dont know why I did that ..Shy to go on stage and get the medal infront of everyone?Or what people might think about me?Look at his hair?His pants?Even if two friends talking and laughing about their boyfriend when u'r on stage and you somehow by God's grace saw it.That's it.The mind will create a whole fucking scene in your head and wondering what they smiled about?One thing you sure is,its definitely 100% about you.Peaceful sleep isnt an element at night on that day.I remember an incident which happended during  form 4 days.The teacher,I still remember her  name..Cik Mariz Liza.Nice name.She was my class teacher as well as my English teacher.So she's the one that have to handle us.So we was having 'selecting class monitor session ' and by some fucking bad luck,my friends choosed me.I told the teacher that I will be the assistant and  made her choose Jimmy as the monitor.The fear of what people will tell about your voice when you have to greet the teacher once she or he enters?I dont know.English,communication ,talking whatever shit comes with it isnt my cup of tea..and today when I see the journey I had travelled,I felt like I regret for not being myself and made fault assumption that Im an introvert.No body does actually.Its the voice that talking inside.The voice that ask you to be in your comfort zone all the time.Its like if you kill it,thats the moment when your life will start.

And Cik Maria Liza hates me.My introvertic imagination or its true?I dont know.-and I dont care about it now..You will too,soon.



LAKDHES