Humans are puppets of emotion.
"Did you saw the news about Bali's Mount Agung about to erupt?"
"Yes,I saw it.Terrific ",I declared.
It was a cold winter night .To compound the discomfort,I was just wearing a sleeveless singlet and jeans and both of us were holding our chill Houston can,a carbonated beverage.
"The sky looks beautiful today,"Tom said while pointing his right index finger towards the dark sky."We're sitting still here on top of 12th floor building and something out there, 124 million miles away travelling so fast coming towards our path."
"Isn't that astonishing ?"Tom exclaimed.
"Felt the same",I reiterated surprised at that apparent irrelevancy .He was talking about the first observed interstellar object "Oumuamua' a weird giant cigar shape asteroid unlike other asteroid nor comet with such shape that will pass by Earth in January 2019.
We both lapsed into silence ,thinking about the complexities of the universe and nature around us.Tom sat hunched up,knees clasped closed to the chest while stared out to the sky.I sensed he was thinking deeply while I picked up few small cement made pebbles from the left over construction and one by one threw them down from the rooftop of the building.
"Don't kill anyone down there on the street",Tom sputtered while sipping his drink.
"I don't have too,"I replied, "eventually mankind will kill each other themselves.They don't need my help."
Tom smiled and hesitantly added,"in the name of religion and politics perhaps."
Encouraged to proceed,he said ,"500 years ago,humans live miles away from each other."Then religion came strongly into our context ,glued us far a part to live happily together and now,"he sighed.
"We killing each other using the same ideology ,"I mused a loud.
"Tom,"I said tapping his left shoulder slowly."I forget to tell you something.I failed my exam."He looked at me with a startled expression.
"I'm sorry man,"he slurred.
"Why?"I asked.
"Things will be good next time,"he added looking at me.
"Don't kid me ,Tom",I countered,"treat a patient in hospital as ill or treating a setback as a failure is the common demonic little thing that society do to us most of the time."
"Don't give the same shit to me."
He hung his head a moment, became subdued and turned back to me.
"That's wise man,"he replied.
I re -replied,"Tom,put your ear up by my mouth.I want to say something for your ears only."
The sugar rush from Houston flushed in his cheeks blushed to pink.
"There is something you get by winning."
"There is something you get while losing."
"If you know how to extract the lessons from it,there isn't any setback in failing ,"I added.
"And Tom,a secret jush between us fellas."
"3 weeks ago,when the result was out,I messaged few selected people to inform about this."
Tom was listening quietly.
"It felt like being at the edge.I might never get it back again so I make use of it to see how people around me that initially claimed had prayed for me reacts when it turned out the other way around."
"What did you learned?"Tom paid more attention this time.His body turned towards me curiously.
"I learnt that none of them really matters.Be it friends,be it relatives,be it people I loved,they can't give me the word that my mind seek."
"I realized I am my greatest teacher at the time of misery and their opinion doesn't really matter."
I theorized the humans around me in few categories."
"People who are your strength,to whom you can lean during hardtime."
"The next is the entertainers or sugar candies ."
"Sugar candy?"Tom asked frowning his eyebrows.
"Yes.Sugar candy is delicious at the moment but it bring no real values except pleasure for time being.The more you dwell on them longer,you will eventually spoil your teeth,"I explained.
"That's interesting.That's all?"questioned Tom.
"There are two more .The toxic people and the ambivalenter."
"Wait!"Tom interrupted.
"I can guess what toxic people meant but what is that word ambivalenter?"asked Tom.
I smiled and continued,"ambivalenter are people that you aren't sure if they really good or bad.They almost like toxic people but in term of toxic people,you know their bad intention from far but ambivalent people are those who you can't distinguish if they're good or bad even when they sit close next to your face.There are deadly people to have around.They will get into your head in a subtle way and will mess up your life.""There are many of them in this era."
"Tom laughed out loud."That's interesting man.Tell me more about it.How do you know ,perhaps identify such people?"
They seems like wearing a mask aren't they ?"
"You're correct Tom,"I sighed."Easy,whenever you feel or doubt if someone is really happy for you or they just pretending to be,if such thought arise in your mind,just clarify them into such categories."
"Doesn't it sounds more like judging someone?"Tom curious to know more.
"It's different Tom.You usually will have an impression about someone during the first few minute of your talk with a person.That's more like an intuition and people who lack of wisdom might said it's judgmental and there's nothing wrong with it."
"The more accurate way you can use to evaluate someone without judging them is,you first analyze their act and intention ,take a day and re evaluate it."
"Body language can't fake you.Maybe someone's face can fake it but look at more less conscious voluntary parts like fingers.The best would be their feet.Human mind pay less attention to leg without realizing it because fakers use most of the energy to mask the facial muscles and upper body part,"I explained.
I continued,"there was an experiment Tom.In that experiment,researcher take the sample of sweat of two group of people during their fearful state."Just assume one from bungee jumping,more fearful stuff and another one is less intense activity.When they tested it to a group of people in lab asking them to smell both of the sample while their brain activity is being recorded with eeg cap and fMRI,the the sweat of bungee jumper gave a different reaction in the brain..Although both were just sweats,the bungee jumper's sweat activate different areas in our brain resembling the same area that get activated when we frightened more intensely.People assume it's their gut feeling but the brain knows subconsciously about someone's evil motivate and this is the reason why you feels weird about certain people .I can give you more example but I guess this would be enough to make you understand the concept.. ."
"I got it Lakdhes",Tom reassured.
" Do the participant knows about it?"
"That they actually smelling someone's armpit's sweat?"Tom made a joke and laughed himself.
"No idea Tom."
"But you know what,despite all this,there was this few people especially these girl,they don't even know me in person."
"We just sort of social media friends that barely know each other but they buzzed me from no where asking me how am I doing because I'm missing in action."
"That's sweettttt!"
"Do they look pretty?"Tom asked with a silly reaction and curiosity.
I just smiled and narrated this interesting incident ,"and there was this bunch of people that when I posted a quote of Harun Yahya on my story that sounds like this,"
'
I wonder why birds stay in the same place when they can fly anywhere else on Earth,then I asked myself the same question' - some tried to answer it in a smart way explaining it why.They turned into a pundit for no reason without knowing that it's a quote."
"It made me clear that there are many that see and listen just to say something.Or maybe some tried to initiate a conversation with me.What do you think Tom?".
"It could be either they love you or they hate you,it should be one of the reason",said Tom."and the bird stayed at the same place maybe because it's a fucking dumb animal."Tom too answered the quote.
He continued,"there was a time when I was at Ghana for a charity purpose."
"I remember the first day I got there,this little girl came running over with this plastic cup."
"She got eggs in the cup and she said something that I don"t understand looking at me expectantly with this cup and I was like,why is she giving me the eggs?The host mother explained me that eggs are very precious commodity there.The chicken often don't lay many eggs because they don't have enough nutrition.She explained that the small girl is giving me the most valuable thing that the family has to welcomes me."
Tom continued,"I always wonder people that poor externally are much richer inside than those who have enough to share with others yet they aren't satisfied enough to keep people around them happy."
"Human are puppet of emotion Tom."
"The emotional tail wags the rational dog.Many are guided by emotion rather than by reason.I just want to be the least fucked up version of that,"I explained.
"I knew what happened during the whole so called exam.I don't feel like finding excuses or pin point anything.That will make me work less than I should to overcome discrimination and biases.But..."
I stopped a moment ,inhaled deeply tried to hide the rage in me.
"That 'but' stopped Tom's humour.His eyes rested on the dark sky above us.
"I can feel the pain in you",Tom uttered.
"If they take the pain away ,I will lose the strength Tom.Let it be there.I prefer to live by design then to live by default,"I reassured him.
"You are super wise man,"Tom said while tapping my right shoulder gently.
I leaned back while holding the can that no more chill in my left hand,sighed and said,"no Tom,,"I'm not wise,I'm just conscious of my subconscious.If I let it to drive me,soon I will label the whole thing as fate like others."
"I'm authentically going to steal the ideas from the greatest and going to fix the unfixed,"I ended it with eyes full of rage.
That's the way man,"Tom tried to make me feel better and he continued ,"What's next?"
I lifted the can towards his,"CHEERS TOM"...
5 years from now,whenever I see this picture,it will reminds me what happened on that day ,everyone and everything related to that story.
