17 seconds ago, I explained about Stark and Zeeman effect to her and how she could make use of this quantum energy to heal herself.
18 seconds later,my superior created an impression infront of her that I'm good for nothing.
'Don't utter any words,' my inner voice reminds me.
4 explanation letters in 4 weeks is more than enough.
Standing there, I recalled what my friend told me..
"Remind yourself of your purpose of you going to work everyday, because eventually you will forget your purpose of living n doing medicine because of housemanship."
9 years of sacrifices doesn't seem worth it at this point. At all.
Among all creation, humans are God's biggest mistake.
A human is the one that causes pain to another human.
How do you escape this paradigm?
I questioned myself everyday.
Maybe everything happened for a reason.One day ,when we connect the dots ,we will know why everything happened in the first place.
To bring us close to what we really want.
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ReplyDeleteIt is better to quit dr, rather than being assimilated into the toxic system and turned into its staunchest defender in 10-year time. It is not the end of the world if you quite since you can do your housemanship later, when things change to the better. I quitted like 12 years ago and now I gain a PhD in Mathematics (just finished my viva three weeks ago). I am planning to finish my housemanship again sometimes in the future, when the environment is less toxic. Inded it is true that the workplace environment is hell much better nowadays than 12 years ago (EOD on calls, clocking in 36-hour stretch was a norm, bullying was more rampant since even the thought of standing up to your superiors was completely inexistent). Hopefully things will further improve as time progresses (e.g better remunerations, more opportunities to further studies post housemanship, rules that are more in line with labour laws adhered to most professions in our country etc).
ReplyDeleteLife was indeed tough for me when I quitted housemanship but I now proved to my detractors that there is still a bright future waiting for those who are willing to buck the trend. If you like the non-clinical side of medicine, then the career opportunity is more brilliant. Please think about it. I have seen many talented and bright people who wasted their lives and turned themselves into complete automatons after finishing their housemanship. A total loss to the country, indeed.
By the way, HTAR is known as one of the most toxic place to do your housemanship. You were a bit unlucky to be allotted to that hospital (I imagine you might realise this after you filled in your choices of hospitals, you would definitely see there were still many slots left for HTAR and HKL. Most young doctors avoided those 2 hospitals, due to their toxic atmosphere and notorious superiors). I am a bit unsure whether HTAR already implemented the weekly work hour restriction (60-62 hours / week) but based on the stories that I heard from my colleagues who did and astonishingly survived housemanship there, HTAR is one of the last hospitals which will eventually toe the line. I hope people from the MOH will look into this swiftly to rectify this asinine workplace policy.
But bro..why are you trying to finish your houseman again when you are aware that it's a toxic work place..
DeleteHi Dr,
DeleteThanks for getting back to me. For my case it is quite complicated. I might have an offer from an institution that I can't refuse. The place is one of the better one to do housemanship in Malaysia since it is a teaching hospital. Besides, I want to fulfill my dreams to be an oncologist with some training in Mathematics with an application to medical research. I am currently not in Malaysia but I will be coming back home after I finish the first FRCR (Oncology pathway) examinations in February (do pray for my sucess, bro). To be eligible for the Final FRCR examinations (Part A and B), I need to have some experience in oncology setting. It is a long way to go but when a person has reached certain age like me, you just know what is your passion and realise you have to go through hell first before you realise your dream. I might not quit housemanship years ago if I realised what I wanted to become at that time. Sometimes, you might attain / complete your training at a later age once you have a clear set of goals to be achieved in your life. That is the reason why I said perhaps in certain case, it is better to quite housemanship now and do it later when the environment has become less hostile and more permissive to the career growth of junior doctors. At this rate, we can only achieve what the developed countries had achieved in twenty years later (2040) where everybody works in regular shifts (48 hours per week / not exceeding 56 hours per week at the most, 2 days per week etc).
What you're saying is true..I too wished to do something else and if its med,i wish to touch life of millions not filling up forms..but it's kinda stucked..tried applied for what i i really wants to do but no reply from them..in order to bring a change we have to be in a position that could able us to do so..soon or later i might leave..all the best for ur exam!
DeleteHi Dr,
ReplyDeleteI already posted my reply in your newest post. By the way, getting a medical degree is like a partial death sentence for our career. There is a way forward, but it is difficult indeed. If you want to apply for another job (either medical or non-medically related), the prospective employers will say that either you are underqualified or overqualified. The career pathway for a medical graduate is very stagnant in Malaysia. However, for alternatives, please have a look at my replies in your most recent post.
Okay..will do now..thank u..
DeleteBrother..i wanted to ask u sumtim..is it okay for a dr to continue in physics..i love space n innovation..is there any scope for that in future whn i fnsh my studies..n whn u quit housemanship n continue to stdy mathematics..how u manage ur expenses..
Delete