Mistake as a Doctor :Listen to Others but Act According to Your Heart. .

 When I first started, I can't even take a patient's blood properly.

I can't insert a branula properly. Initially, most of the time I failed.

With time and experiences, I can sensed that I became better. Doesn't matter how difficult, by hook or by crook, I will insert the branula nor take the blood.

The only time I failed nowadays is when I listened to others opinion, ignores what my mind saying and get distracted with other's voices. 

Today there's was a hemato patient that requires branula. He is on chemo so the smallest size will do but other two houseman already poked him 5 times.

It's like breaking a person's trust five time which means I can never try more than once. Doesn't matter how difficult it is, when I really find for the veins, I always ended up with two options. Two sites that you know that it's guaranteed either one will work. Here's where your luck play its part. Multifactors can causes a failed insertion. When they called me for this kind of situation, I know it's only one time attempt.

Moment before insertion, I don't know if that nerd is a first poster or super senior, but he's just annoying. I don't know if he's smart or just a nerd that burden mo's for every small shit. If I'm an Mo, I wish i would never work with house officer like that.

"Hemato Mo said if can't get more than three times, inform Mo,"he said.

" Then why the fuck you both poked him 5 times, "I thought. 

I just kept quiet and opening the blue colour sterile branula. 

 Inserted and there's back flow, I removed the needle and tried to push it inside. I just can't stop the blood from flowing out through the branula despite how much pressure I gave, so i just wanted to insert quickly and secure it. 

"Did you release the tourniquet?" Nerd asked. 

'Just do it on your term or open it because he's seeing?' A confusion came in. 

I picked the second, tried to open the tourniquet with another hand, branula moved, and it's gona. I can't flush in the water through the branula and the patient felt pain ;means it's came out from vein and settled  in the dermis layer. 

I just wasted everything. 

For 3 minutes I sat at the corner and was thinking about it. 

'Why you didn't follow your heart?' 

'Why?' 

'You was good and you messed up because of other's opinion.' 

I learnt that medical is a team work. Almost all the jobs out there is a team work. You works better in a team but always, ALWAYS LISTEN TO YOUR HEART. 

You can take people's opinions but decision must be always your ;according to you heart.