Starting Again From Zero

When starting from zero with left over muscles and kgs of water and fats from months of over eating,the first step will be adding cardio and cut down carbs.

Cardio to remove the water and small portion of meal to normalize the dilated gut.

Covid -19: How We Making It Complicated

 

“Hello,am I disturbing you?”

‘Yeah,but what is life without being disturbed by the right people,”I said.

She started to smile widely.

“What will happen if someone is drowning?”She quizzed again pointing at the sea.

I craned my neck to get a better view from the bench.

“Will die,”I ended it.

“Why?”she questioned again.

“Some whys have no answer,” I said  lounging lazily on the bench apart from the fact that I was trying to make small talk.

“Why you keeping your face like you just finished a grumble session?”

 Maybe that’s my natural expression I thought.

“Well fresh water is hypotonic,rapidly absorbed across alveolar membranes,impairs surfactant function and caused alveolar collapse,right to left shunting of non oxygenated blood.Absorption of large amount of hypotonic fluid will result in hemolysis while salty sea water is hypertonic hence provokes alveolar oedema.”

The couple next to us looked up and down at us as if we had questioned them about their secret personal fantasies and exchanged cold glances.

People had fear of death but they will wear their mask to cover their chin exposing their nose inviting the virus.Like having a strong metal gate at their home but left it open unlocked at night.

She took 11 seconds,but she gave a brief nod at the end.

“Means will die?”she summarized.

Life is really  simple but we insist on making it complicated;like simply wearing the mask properly.

Positive Covid For the Second Time?

 

It’s  been 6 months since I was tested positive for Covid 19.

I still remember the date; 9/12/20.

Been three months since I completed my second dose of vaccine.

In a week,two patient’s covid pcr came out as positive,one more patient’s covid pcr gene expert was positive.

Unlike medical,no one give a shit about contact tracing,to ask if got any symptoms in this department.

The medical consultant was very concerned about house officer’s health.

It’s not the same here.

Those same symptoms ,headache,mild sore throat,joint pain,unexplainable lethargy is there again.

For the second time?Even after vaccination?

 I don’t know;for now.

I have to work till 9pm today and I’m oncall tomorrow.If I go for swab then the entire time table for the week will collapse.Only three house officer covering the entire ward,there’s no more man power left to run the wards.Without house officer,ortho department will be  dyfunctional to be honest.We are the back  bone for this department and we are the one that make sure patient is optimize and well prepared for a surgery.

Yet,no one respect nor appreciate our effort like other departments.

Wearing a set of full enhanced PPE for straight 6  to 8 hours,suffocated with a tight N95 face mask,drenched with our own sweat..Within few hours,you will experienced a sort of headache,not sure if it’s because of dehydration or the heat..

It’s super unpleasant..

I wish things could be different.

I wish we all can live a normal life;like before.

I wish we all could freely go out,create memories that we supposed to create.

After all,life is to make memories.

I wish I can see my family and spend time with them.

I wish everything will comes to an end soon.

Because its  exhausting ..

I am exhausted.

Anyway,our next short film is coming soon.

Do watch the teaser .

Click here

In Real Life Bad Guys Win

 

In  movies bad guys lose,in real life bad guys win..Ortho,I was excited about this posting..but,among all four departments,ortho was the worst.Be it the people,the system.

Bgm Of Third song

 

Done composing bgm for my third song.

Health is The Biggest Gift

 

He was stretched out on his bed.

Older than his biological age.

His skin drenched with sweat,his eyes feebly searching for someone.

The veins on his bony hands were as thick as cord.His touch was weak and clammy.

At the sound of my voice,”Take rest,”a smile flickered over his deathly face.

His eyes became teary and he looked sad.

“Thanks,”he whispered. 

“I didn’t wish to go this young.”

I didn’t utter a word.I don’t know what to say to be honest.

Witnessing someone is dying is painful.

“Being healthy is the biggest gift of life right”?he mumbled.

I looked at him.

Few seconds later ,I turned and walked away towards the counter.

Didn’t say anything.

But what he said was true.

Don’t Try to Find Answers

“He’s a schizophrenic patient so pay extra attention to him and the next patient is bipolar so make sure he never jump off  from 8th floor, ”she said.

“I just stepped into the ward and you started  passing over shit like this?”

“Your bad luck,you chose this place,”she giggled.

“But why??Why today?”I sighed.

“Life is complicated,don’t try to find  answers.”

She gave a terrible idea.

“If try?”I questioned.

“When you try to find answers,life changes the questions.”

“Is it good or bad?”

“Depends.”

Composing Next Song

 

Recording my third song.

Not sure how the out come would be.

Finger crossed 🤞🏾

A duet with the talented girl @shobika_isai 

Coming soon.

@esha_official__

Post -Quarantine

It feels good to be back to normal life.

We sat at a corner table and had our first meal together after 10 days.The effect some people’s mere presence can have on you is indescribable.Everything on offer in the rather ordinary evening meal tasted divine.The fried rice tasted like an award winning chef had made it.The lights from the traffic jam visible outside the window looked like fireflies.Same view,same food but solitude taught me to see it in a different perspective.

 

I’m Officially Covid-19 Positive

 

Everything was going well.My annual leave was approved.4 days off is a luxury.Was excited to meet my friends and family after 6 months.And this time, I can bring my cat along (the main reason I bought a car). 

But when you’re excited about something ,God will plan something more exciting for you.

That’s when your swab result will came out as positive.

Can’t #covid_19 wait for a week.

Time to pack my bag to Sungai Buloh. 🤦🏾

Waiting For My Covid -19 Swab Result

 

From three house officers per night, it became two and now it ended up leaving me alone. Wearing suffocating duck mouth n95, with another layer of mask on top of it,ppe where you don't even need a sauna, will make you sweat like hell, goggles that ended up with water vapours messing up your blood taking,everything is super uncomfortable. Layers of protection yet , if your swab have to be positive,it wil be positive no matter what..

Hospitals;the only place where positive is a negative word. Few more hours before I could know if I'm going for a two weeks vacation or will remain functional here.

🤗

2020 Going To End Soon

 "You can't control how other people receive your energy," he said.

"I think I don't even have the energy to train today." 

"It's normal. In a week there will be days where you don't even feel like waking up," he smiled and continued, "That will be the morning where you will be cracking your head thinking what lie should you come up with for your mc or EL." 

Both of us laughed. 

"We all have been there right?" I teased. 

"Definitely!" 

"2020 going to end in few weeks. Time flies. When we were studying, I thought cars would be flying in 2020."

"Reality was, cars can't even go to the next districts for many months. 

What a year," I sighed. 

"Chill bro. No matter how bad it is now, someday we will look back and realize all the hardships changed our life for the better.

May your coming  year be filled with a magic, dreams and good madness.Read some fine books , kiss someone who thinks you're wonderful and don't forget to make some art. "

" Art? "I puzzled. 

" Write, draw or build or sing or live as much as you can. Somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself."

" I wished I could . "

"Don't wish, make it happen."

A Fish Can’t Fly

 

We had trained for less than 20 minutes when she got a stomach cramps.She held her stomach and gestured to stop the training.

“I’m not fully okay after my fever,’she said.

“I need to rest.Feeling a little cold in these.”She pointed to her small black shorts.

“Are you telling the truth or..?”I doubted.

“Promise .”

I released my grip from the barbell.

“Gym is not for everyone.”

She sat up ,glared at me and her posture stiffed.

“What is your problem ?”

I paused to think and scratched my head.

Maybe I said the wrong thing I thought.

“Ya you’re great here okay?”she packed her things.

I messed up I realized.

We walked 260meters from the gym and reached a coffee shop.

I entered the shop and she followed.The waiter from the morning was still on duty.He gave  us an all-knowing smile.I smiled back.

“I saw you tik tok!”he said;to her.An ass I thought.

“I love your videos ,”he said.

I looked at her and she looked at me.This blacksheep was in between.

I realized,emotion apart,each one of us has our own talent,our own plus point.I realized,if we expect a fish to fly,it’s our fault.Everyone shine in their own field.Doesn’t mean a muscular person is better than skinny guy

It Take Time to Be Great

 

The aircond just stopped. Someone switched it off. In seconds, sweat beads appeared on our forehead. In minutes, mosquitoes hovered over us. Working in dengue ward, dengue fever is the least I wanted to be diagnosed with. Qid blood taking is a pain.

"What you are thinking?" she asked.

"Mosquitoes," I giggled.

"Very funny. Now can we discuss it?"

"What about the third song?" You supposed to finish it soon. "

Her question stumped me.It was from no where.

" It's.. Almost.. "I fumbled for words.

She composed herself and sat cross-legged at the corner. 

" You need something else in life."

Her confusing words left me tongue-tied. 

Year will end soon, I thought of focusing with work...

I pointed at the half full moon over my left north. 

She grabbed my shoulders and turned me towards the moon. 

She took a sip from her water bottle. 

" I played basketball in school." 

'What's the big deal I thought. '

"Basketball flows with freedom and hierarchy. The faster player gets the ball more  frequently. The better passer, dribble and shooter gets the ball more often. 

In order to do something great, you need to be a combo." 

"Combo?" I dont understand a shit. I don't play that game. 

"A little progress each day adds up to big results." 

"Literally I'm not going anywhere,"I sighed. 

" Don't worry if you're not where you want to be yet,great things take times."

Out of Comfort Zone

 

Weekend.Prenight.21 Biceps curl. Combo that I hated the most.

But as long as you’re breathing,you shouldn’t do what you  feel like doing nor like doing.You do what  you have to do in order  to achieve what you always wanted.Even if it’s out of your comfort zone.