My First Patient In Trauma Ward

I still remember the day when I first met him.

His story started 10 years ago with a small motorbike accident.

When I saw his 10 years old history 

with multiple surgeries to fix his intestinal bleeding, my first thought was,' I'm done'.

New ward, three surgeons, I'm definitely won't be able to remember every shit and they gona screw me for this. 

"Don't worry, I'm here for quite a long time. They knew my case well. They won't ask much." 

I stopped flipping his report and looked at him. 

"Did he heard my mind voice?" I questioned myself with a surprised look. 

He smiled. 

"That's what everyone felt when they saw me for the first time." 

He answered my voiceless question again. 

From that day onwards, he was not just a patient but a friend as well. 

Each time during dressing, I can literally touch his intestines because it was such a big open wound with his peristalsis visible to my naked eyes. 

Weeks later.

" Bro, what is the first thing you wanted to do once you're well and out from here?" I asked him. 

"Get a job and repair my room tiles," he answered with a sense of discomfort. 

His vacuum dressing was partially soaked. 

"I already informed my wound team MO. Today he will come and change the dressing,okay?"I tried to make him feel better. 

" And I wanted to buy a new phone for my sister, "he uttered slowly. 

I can sensed that he really wished to live a normal life like us. 

" God didn't bring you this far to leave you. Everything will be fine soon , "I shared the quote that my consultant shared in her WhatsApp status that morning. 

I was believing that the quote was true for sometime. 

Today he's no more. 

But he made me realized something.

Each soul crosses our path for a reason. Either for their growth or to make us grow. 

Misconception of Mastectomy : Devastating Consequence

"Can I walk again ?"she asked with a smile.
I'm not sure if she's smiling for real or she's faking it but for me, I felt as if she's suffering inside.
She's smiling for the world around.



"Why you didn't do mastectomy when you first diagnosed with breast cancer 2 years ago? "I asked her.

"I don't know.Many said you can't walk,it will be painful etc.I thought chemo alone would be sufficient.I don't know who will take care of me when I can't walk.That's why Dr."

"Your doctor didn't tell you anything?"I questioned.

"She did but.."she paused for a moment.

"Did you discuss with anyone before you decide?"I asked again.

"No..but I was completely fine for two years.I went to work with bicycle, I was very happy and active.Just past three days I can't" really move my legs."


Her husband passed away 4 years ago.They adopted a son but she mentioned that the 19 years old boy doesn't care that much about her.

When I knew her history,that sentence 'I was happy' hurts me.
I could feel her pain but I can't do much except talk to her often,took care of her.
That's all.All my knowledge,all my empathy meant nothing I felt.

Each person crossed our life for a reason.
This video was because of her,for other people like her.
If you know anyone that facing such problem , clueless regarding treatment, procedure nor the process,feel free to mail or dm me.
If I don't know, I have such kind hearted surgeon and consultant from O&G and surgical to discuss with and willpwill the knowledge to you.
Goodday.

pranasteya@gmail.com

Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/lakdhesz/

How we prepare a mastectomy patient.
Click here to watch the video.

Next Department: Surgical

At last I finished O&G with lots of dramas.
My second posting was Surgical.
Completely a new chapter,new environment.
For every single thing,we have to refer and request,my biggest uncomfortable aspect in medical.
Unlike Bangladesh,here everything seems complicated. As well as my life.
Day 3 in new department and I'm not liking it that much;maybe for now.
"What should I do?"I asked my self.
Let's compose the second song.
That's what I felt and I sat to write the lyrics..
"Write a song for me this time,"she asked.
I smiled and penned my second song for her.
It's a different feeling,to be honest a feeling that I can't put into words.
Not into love but the feeling that there is someone who is crazy about you is more than enough.
She is indeed magical.
Annoying,young girl with lots of dramatic expectations which doesn't suits me at all.
Yet,it seems different.
A single song changed everything, let's see how my next song gona impact my life.

My Way of Handling Covid-19

"What are you thinking?"he asked.
"Nothing bro,just thinking about life ."

"About Covid-19?"he teased.

We both smiled.

"Somehow this Covid-19 making life miserable right?"he sighed.

"Ya."I replied.

"Okay , we're doctors right?Tell me how would you treat covid-19?
Do you think turmeric is a good way like how our Indians proclaiming..?"he questioned.

"I'm not sure, it's an antibacterial and antiseptic so..,"before I finished he interrupted,"See the logic, it's antibacterial and corona is a virus,so how could it kill a virus?"he asked.

"It's sounds logic but we aren't sure if it can act as an antiviral as well right?So.."

"Hmmm,sounds legit too,"he replied.

"It spreads rapidly but wasn't virulence as SARS and that's the only advantage..But it turned the whole world chaotic."

"Do you think it's man made or as Bill Gates predicted it meant to happen?"he asked in a curious tone.

"With how the worlds  economy went haywire and how certain countries are free from it and how certain countries trying to monopoly the economy, I'm not really sure what to say..
Either it happened itself , someone made it such a way to be less virulence or someone failed to create a strong virus."

He gave a puzzled look.

"How  would you cure it if you're positive?"he questioned.

"I will tell you but it might sounds stupid."

"You don't usually tell something stupid so tell bro,"he assured.

"I'm the only HO in the same department for 6 months and you're feeling that I'm not stupid ?"

"I knew well why you're still in O&G .You only do if you're intended. So cut the crap and tell me!"he sounded.

"You see,few years back ,when my sister came from school with her contact lens strongly adhered to her pupil,we tried eye drops,we tried to pull it ,we tried so many ways and we failed.
Initially I thought I have to bring her to clinic. I was getting ready to go to gym at that time and I went back to keep my protein shake in the fridge and I saw onions.
Well, onions can make you cry naturally so I thought let's try it.In few seconds of cutting the onions into half near her,the lens came out along with that natural tears.

Few days back, a pregnant patient came with complaint of abdominal pain.She was having Hodgkin lymphoma and was on chemo. Everything was normal,her baby,her uterus everything!Not a single pathology at all.
We were puzzled and I asked her if she went to toilet and she said she's didn't pass motion since her last chemo.
It was post chemo ilecus.
Simple diagnosis that even Mo's missed because we always see a problem with  sophicasted  way to treat it.

For me,that corona virus attached to your throat wall and if your immune is good,with time it's subsequent event limited  with upper respiratory infection.If your immune is bad, it went downwards with the secretions into your lungs and causes pneumonia."

He was quietly listening.

"It can be killed by ultraviolet rays,more sensitive to heat and ethanol more than 70%.
So it's definitely won't survive in high pH right?"I asked.

"What you mean?"

"If you can try thymol gurgle to remove it,why don't you bring it in into your body and kill it? I asked.

"How?"he puzzled.

"Okay, it's might sounds stupid but if it's me, I would drink a spicy soup till I'm having secretions all over my tract and nose and bring it into my stomach during initial stage .You will be eating so respiratory tract is closed,all secretions enter stomach not lungs and stomach acid will play it's role."

"Sounds logic bro.."he said.

"Stomach acid can even melt a razor, so a virus is nothing because that virus act more on our lung cells.
If the later stage,we can depend with chroroquine and antiviral but during intial stage,this is how I treat me and treating I'm exposing my self to covid suspected cases every day.I won't even wear a mask and lot of patients tend to hide their past history but I already figured out a way how to overcome it.This is how I managed."

Better scientific details about Covid-19,how viruses act and how the treatment works will be uploaded next.
 COMING SOON.

We and Microorganisms Survived Through Adaptation - Covid-19

Despite a calm day,that constant uncomfortable feelings was there.
Uncertainty is definitely not my cup of tea.

"Lakdhes,why are you wearing this snake ring?"my MO asked.
"To show that you're strong is it,"she teased and laugh.

"No doctor, I used to went to haunted places and make a video out of it.Sometimes certain things does followed me back.
This ring was really helpful in that matter."

Her smile stopped and turned into curiosity.
"Really?You went to haunted place?You looked like a person with full of fear here . Can't believe that you went there and made videos."she uttered.

Outside of this place, I'm completely a different person I thought.


It was a weird feeling.Since small, I don't wish to be seen, I don't wish to be heard.
Can't get it?
If the next day , during an assembly,If I have to go on the stage and receive a medal, I won't go to the school.

But I wished to win every game we played. Hockey , cricket and football I meant.

That's why I said, it's a complicated mixed feeling.

I don't know how many people out there think like this but for me, with this kind of attitude,it was very hard for me as a doctor in Malaysia.

Either I change or I change my profession.

This job demands me to be loud,to talk, to be socially interactive,to communicate.

It's hard for me. I have to admit it.

"How can you be so confident doctor,"I asked her.

"Knowledge,"she answered in a split of seconds.
"Knowledge gave you confidence, it's powerful."

I didn't think about it in this way.
I did many things to be powerful and influential but I missed this one thing that was right in my hands,right?I thought.

"Everything around us won't destroy it's habitat except us human beings."

Both of us smiled.

"We survived everything not because we're the strongest.We are the most adaptive.
Viruses and bacterias living in us for years.
But covid-19 became a pandemic not because they want to destroy their habitat.Only the weaker habitats such as people with weaker immune might die.

Bacterias tuned out their virulence  to much weaker level so that they can survive at the same thing not harmful for their habitats which is us human beings.

That is why we and microorganisms survived for years ,our adaptation..

You too can if you try to adapt to your surroundings."

"But remember,"she paused,"At the same time don't compromise."

Mindset

"Do you know why they address lion as the king of the jungle?"he asked.

That's a good question I thought.
"I'm not sure."

"It's definitely not the fastest.Not the biggest nor the smartest but have you wondered why?"

"Honestly I don't know,"I replied.

"When a lion saw an elephant,it thinks of a meal,but for an elephant,the only thing in it's mind;to run."

I smiled.

"It's not the size or your capability, it's your mind.It's all up there."

It reflected deeply within me.

End of Posting and My Birthday | 20th February

It's been a while..Today is supposed to be end of my posting.As usual,I didn't bother to complete my logbook nor approach my specialist for my viva.

The rest already knew their next posting but me..
Just going with the flow,learnt alot.
Today I knew what to do,how to read that pink book,ocean of knowledge in my head regarding o & g.
Kinda love it..

Infact it's my birthday today and life is totally different.

Released a song at last..

I used to think about this when i was going to gym.Like everyday..
At last it happened.No, nothing will happen ..We have to make it happen.I made it happen.

I learnt that in life if you want something to happen,you have to make it happen.Otherwise dream wil remain as a dream..

Everything felt new today..I don't know if it's good or for bad because once you settle you will sink..

It's time for the next move.
Before I compose my next song, I want to build back my body.A figure that I have never done before. Let's give a try.

Went alone and recorded my video.

Life alone is kinda cool but you need someone to complete you.

To watch the full video,click here.

It was fun working with her.

They Made Me Hate It

For full video,click here.

We spoke about this this in 2015.
With my best friend
Maybe certain things takes some time or maybe I never try hard enough
One to another leads to a to e.
Those were all constructive conversation but one thing I realized,alone you can go far,with a team you can go further.

Thank you  for your wonderful voice.It's something beyond my imagination initially.

It's gyne onco from today and they made me hate being here.

Morning 830am,Mo said

"He's hopeless,I don't need him here."

More humans,more stories but I learnt that..
Certain stories.. certain ending is just a comma..Not a real ending.

Whatever it is..
But giving up isn't an option.

Those Days Wasn't That Bad

"Do you think it was a mistake?" Both of us shared a subtle glare before utter the next word.

It was 8 years ago.He don't remember much but I do.
It was still fresh in my hippocampus, embedded deeply.

That day  began chaotically but
as usual it ended up really well.
Really well. "I do,"he said.

He must be lying,I thought. "Time flies right?" I just smile..
"Ya..." "A day before,it was very stressful,"he sighed.

He was using phone during lecture and the physiology hod saw and asked him to answer her question.
He was standing like a statue and 206 eyes were looking at him including mine. "The person next to him, please stand up,"the late head of department ordered.

I looked around and realized it was me.The joy of ' luckily it was not me ended in a split of second.'
That's the last time I sat next to him.

It was indeed a stressful situation but when reminiscing it today, it wasn't that bad.

Maybe current days too might felt the same few years from now.