Lakdhesz: Beginning of New Karmic Cycle

"It's been a while right?" said Tom.
"Ya,like the old days."
We were just looking at the city. From that top, everything looks less serious.It reminded me of the impression that if you look at a problem by putting it far,it won't seems that big.It's there but the way our mind perceive it will be different.

"So what's new with life?"Tom broke the mourning silence.

I just smiled.Everthing seems new and I don't know from where to start.

"Got your placement?"he continued his next question.

"Not yet."

"I'm sorry,"he said.

I was surprised for that sorry,"There's nothing to be sorry about Tom.It's all good.As a doctor,I can't own a Pte Ltd company.So this period is actually very useful,I deliberately delaying it infact.

"Company is good?"Tom questioned.

"Better than what I expected.Opened my current account, everything is set.Got my second set of books as well."

"..But you didn't look very happy,"said Tom.

I looked at him and exhaled.A jet airliner shrieked overhead,cars and motorcycles roared by at the bottom but there's a sense of silence that I can't really explain.

"Tom,last week I went for an interview.It was a huge company.. and before I finish my sentence, Tom interrupted,"Do you need a job?"

"No Tom.I wanted to know how an interview works.I had experienced uncountable vivas.It's like an interview as well but much harder.I was wondering how does corporate interview works.I thought I could use that experience in the future if I want to hire someone for my company ."

"Then what happened?"Tom asked with a curious look.

"They wondered if I was in prison because I have no record of previous employment for past 10 years after my SPM."

We both laughed.

"I told him the truth and the HR guy told me that,'from the way you dressed up,I could guess it'.I felt I was a little too much because the rest were just wearing T-shirts and slippers while I was in a formal get up."

"So they hire you ?"Tom asked.

"Initially they rejected me because I'm over qualified but 2 days later they called me back for the job.I didn't want that job in the first place Tom.On that same morning, Google reminded me what I was doing on 13th March 5 years back.It was funny.Everything changed,"I said while showing the pictures from Google photos.

"You missed them?"Tom asked.

"Sort of.That was a comfortable group of friends."

"You missed her?"Tom asked while slowly tapping my left shoulder.

I smiled.
How could you simply forget someone that you dreamt of getting married,living a life together till the end.

"But Tom,I realized something.I was wearing rings that my exs's gave.One of it had her name crafted on the ring's surface.I wore them for years as a reminder never trust a person but for 2 days, I took them out and to my surprise ,good things started to happen.Those are the things that I wished would happen for years.I don't know if it's coincidence or their thought itself is a bad vibe,but I felt as if I don't have that burden anymore.It was a relief Tom.Thank god it didn't work out.
She was a mistake that tolled my age, energy,money and success.I miss her or what I don't want her back ever in my life."

"Don't say that,the Universe will test you ,you know,"Tom teased.

"Tom recently,my mum went and checked my time with an astrologer."

"Interesting,tell me more about it,"Tom said.

I smiled.
"It was disastrous Tom.In every aspect. Utmost terrible.That is why I don't encourage all that.If they say something bad,I would feel down."

"Do you believe in that?"Tom was curious.

"Partially Tom.Sometime I wondered .Jezz,Bill Gates and you can name them.Those successful people would never performed any sort of ritual to clear their bad time like how indian astrologers asking indians to do,but they're the top 1%.

I was reading Shiva purana months ago. There was a moment when Parvathi noticed a drop of tear from Shiva's eyes after a long meditation.
She asked him what happened and Shiva told her that he saw Lord Vishnu is going to take incarnation as Lord Rama in the future.He sensed that Rama will face so much of problem and heartache in that birth and that made him sad.

From that one thing,I learnt that even the creator couldn't change our destiny.
Everything that happened and is happening now is meant to happen."

"Don't be down.Everything going to be fine."Tom said.

"Sometime I would doubt myself.I questioned my self if I really have to do this or give up and just focus with medicine but Tom, there's something in me kept telling ,try again.Take that one small step.One step at a time.Giving up isn't an option Tom."

"Yes! Don't give up or else Pallavi will go far from you,"teased Tom.

We both laughed.That name itself is so refreshing.

"So what is the next step?"Tom asked.

I looked at him.
"I want to rebuild everything Tom.If I won't get any help,I will create one."