Well before I continue, I wanted to share something to the world.I knew many secretly following and reading this and I don't feel like hiding this because I seldom lie.Truth will make yourself earned the respect without seeking I learnt.
Today a random stranger asked me if I passed.When I first saw the comment,I was wondering if I should secretly dm him that I failed?
'Since when you started to revert back to the old you?"my mind voice asked me.
Never.
I don't just failed medical exam like the rest but this is my 8th years being here.
Before I came here,I have a perfect family and it's no more now.
I failed in my MBBS school.The teachers just dislike Malaysian and I knew many of my pals are suffering still giving 1st and 2nd prof.
The girl I loved was 3 years elder than me yet I take care of her so well but then she can't passed the exams.People here took advantage of it and changed their mind by creating new law that you have to pay 3000 usd each year til you pass.Circumstances never permits everyone to sustain and she had to stop.
Then came another twist,her parents wanted to get her married.She asked me what she should do now.?I can't help since I'm stucked here and it was a dead end.I sacrifice all the love I had on her and hide the pain in my heart.I told her to go and get marry and be happy.
I can't see it for sure.I blocked her from my life.I stopped talking to her.I hide this from everyone else because I wasn't over her yet to talk about this to anyone.The only thing that hurts me was,she didn't fight for me either.I knew it was her situation and she can't argue with her parents for me;for someone jobless like me.It's understandable.After all she is a girl and I too have sisters.I understand the situation and let her go but stood from far protecting her.
I was happy for her but I knew no one could take care of her better than me.Things went fine for her,a man wanted to marry her and things went smoothly for her,at least I thought.
Within a month they realized the guy was a conman,cheated money from girls and many others in the name of business and love lane.
She cried once again.I told her to go to UK and work there because such an opportunity came at that moment and she went taking my advice.I just wanted her to recover from everything.
Things were fine and the psycho criminal started to harassing her and wrote fake bad news about her with her picture and sending to others.I saw everything and I can't do much.My mistakes caused inevitable and unbearable pain to her.I can see the girl that once my world is suffering and I'm hopeless.
Failure after failure and at the age of 27 in 2018 I'm basically jobless and degreeless.
My studies uncertain,my love gone,my family were unhappy and everyone around me were suffering.
I went to the temple and walked slowly to my house listening to my own footsteps and I saw a crowd of people chasing a man.He was running towards me at that busy GEC road.I caught him.I was holding his hand firmly never let him go,and my reflex made me to raised my hand to punch him but I stopped.I could feel the burning sensation on my arm from the scratch he made during my attempt to stop him.I don't feel like beating him because I don't know what was his situation that put him in such a miserable situation.God is cruel I thought.
I saw that he was holding a phone closed to his chest.He was small in build, wearing a lungi and frighten faced was obvious in his appearance. The group of people that chased him punched him and kicked him the moment I let him go.I tried to stop them but then I stop my self and walk off from that place.
Why I had that empathy and sympathy in me but not others towards me and people that I care.Why?I asked God.
As usual he remained silent.I realized I hit the rock bottom of life.There's no way down further,the only way is up .I came to my sense.
What should I do now I asked myself.I cant change everything in a day.Those pain and humiliation will never ease from my mind and I knew it for sure.
Let me take control of my whole life from today.People around me should be happy and that satisfaction will give me peace.
Everyone that causes pain to another soul must be punish I felt.How could you make it happen I asked my self..How can you change this sinful world.?
To change the world ,first I have to change myself.To change myself I have to change my habits.To change my habits I must start doing things that I have never done before.I learnt greatness is the remedy of pain and greatness is a habit.Changes that remain unchanged is the key I realized.So I will master that from today.
But if she cry,I will turn the world upside down.
Price of bravery
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