We are just resemblance of our mind and thoughts.

"It's not a problem,I will put  my fingers into my mouth and vomit out the food that I just ate,"he explained his way of maintaining his body weight.

I just smiled.
"That's bulimia."

"What's that?"he questioned.
"What you're doing is called bulimia in medicine.That was a psychiatric chapter .Don't do that.It will cause damage to your inner upper front teeth's enamel from stomach's acid.

He didn't say anything.
Seconds later,"Other than that,is there any interesting psychological problems ?"he uttered.

"All psychological problems are interesting.And disturbing as well.
People suffering from boanthropy believes themselves to be a bovine.
So if you saw someone eating grass nearby your house, you why."

"Really ??"he asked in a shocked gesture.

I smiled.
"People suffering from apotemnophilia will have an obsessive desire to have their healthy body parts,especially a limb removed by amputation."

My favorite is Cotard syndrome.A rare mental illness.Sufferer  belief that they are already dead, do not exist.When you're with them, you're a human and they're a ghost . That's what they believe."

"Sounds crazy!"he astonished.

"Maybe that is why Edison quoted, the chief function of the body is to carry the brain around."

We are just resemblance of our mind and thoughts."

Hernia - My Nightmare as a Medical Student

A single mistake & I would ended up paraplegic.🤐
A week ago, following my story with a gym belt, someone replied,
"Why are you wearing that belt?I just started gym,I can take your advice perhaps."

A belt reduces low back stress by compressing the contents of the abdominal cavity. This increases the intra-abdominal pressure  providing more support in front of the bones of the lower back. This allows the spinal erector muscles, which would normally provide this support of the lower back, to produce less force during the lift.

Even though it doesn't guarantee to prevent hernia, that pseudo psychological belief does something good indeed.

"What is hernia?"he asked.

Hernia.As a medical student once,hernia is my surgical short case's nightmare.
Even prayers won't help. It's an unavoidable short case during surgery viva unless you're blessed by the God himself.Yet a dermoid cyst will replace hernia to screw you.

Which one is worse?
Touching someone's genital with your bare hand and sounds like an idiot in front of the examiner or touch a cyst on the face facing the same situation ?
Latter is better to be honest.

Even now,the types of hernias,the difference between femoral and inguinal,direct vs indirect is a pain in the ass to recall.

How to make him understand easily?
Use the medical definition that we unnecessarily have to memorize exactly word to word to pass the exam -Protrusion of a viscus or part of a viscus through an abnormal opening in the wall of its containing cavity?

"Gut protrude into your balls,"I sent.

"Okay bro I got it,"he replied.

Simple, vulgar yet efficient.

Is Keto Diet Safe for Pregnant Women?

"Is Keto Diet Safe for Pregnant Women?"she asked.
That's a good question & the answer is NO.

Ketogenic diet,generally requires consuming 75 % of your daily calories from fat, 20 % from protein and just 5 % from carbohydrates.

There haven’t been any controlled studies done in pregnant human women as it's understandably, discouraged. However, pregnant mice  fed a ketogenic diet experienced many problems with their offspring, including slower growth, smaller hearts and brains and an enlarged spine.
Such alterations may be associated with organ dysfunction and potentially behavioral changes in postnatal life.

The mouse genome has been fully sequenced and was found to share a high degree of homology with the human genome hence studying the physiological effects of a keto diet on mouse development, may shed light on the potentially-similar effects on human development.


Keto diet has shown to reduce diabetes in non-pregnant people but there is no evidence that the diet helps with gestational diabetes so
If you have gestational diabetes, lower your daily carbs while increasing your protein and vegetables.It's a better option.

Teaching the body to use ketones instead of glucose doesn’t work for growing babies. Glucose, from carbohydrates, is the primary energy source for baby’s growth and development.Other than that,the baby will  be imprinted with obesity genes because the baby was formed under the guise from an evolutionary perspective that the mother sucks at finding food so 'we' have to make the baby so efficient that it turns everything into fat.

What Doesn't kill You,Will Build You

As he continued to work out, my curiosity got the best of me and by the time he finished, I was bursting to  ask the question I had been pondering..
I just could not keep it inside;as always.
"Uncle,"I began softly.
"I hope you don't mind me asking,"I quickly added, after all, he was double my age.
He arched his right eyebrow and grunted.

"Why are you here, I mean how could you be so calm,still carrying out your routines?"
I heard about the accident where he lost both his wife and his son.

His face turned read as the intra workout in his shaker bottle and seconds later he pawed his left boot awkwardly across the marble floor.

He glanced up at me and gruffly said,"What doesn't kill will you build you. It makes you stronger."

"..But how?"I persisted ,"did you come by the inner calm you showed?"

"How?"was his rejoinder.
"I cultivated it."

Beginning of New Karmic Cycle

"It's been a while right?" said Tom.
"Ya,like the old days."
We were just looking at the city. From that top, everything looks less serious.It reminded me of the impression that if you look at a problem by putting it far,it won't seems that big.It's there but the way our mind perceive it will be different.

"So what's new with life?"Tom broke the mourning silence.

I just smiled.Everthing seems new and I don't know from where to start.


"Got your placement?"he continued his next question.

"Not yet."

"I'm sorry,"he said.

I was surprised for that sorry,"There's nothing to be sorry about Tom.It's all good.As a doctor,I can't own a Pte Ltd company.So this period is actually very useful,I deliberately delaying it infact.

"Company is good?"Tom questioned.

"Better than what I expected.Opened my current account, everything is set.Got my second set of books as well."

"..But you didn't look very happy,"said Tom.

I looked at him and exhaled.A jet airliner shrieked overhead,cars and motorcycles roared by at the bottom but there's a sense of silence that I can't really explain.

"Tom,last week I went for an interview.It was a huge company.. and before I finish my sentence, Tom interrupted,"Do you need a job?"

"No Tom.I wanted to know how an interview works.I had experienced uncountable vivas.It's like an interview as well but much harder.I was wondering how does corporate interview works.I thought I could use that experience in the future if I want to hire someone for my company ."

"Then what happened?"Tom asked with a curious look.

"They wondered if I was in prison because I have no record of previous employment for past 10 years after my SPM."

We both laughed.

"I told him the truth and the HR guy told me that,'from the way you dressed up,I could guess it'.I felt I was a little too much because the rest were just wearing T-shirts and slippers while I was in a formal get up."

"So they hire you ?"Tom asked.

"Initially they rejected me because I'm over qualified but 2 days later they called me back for the job.I didn't want that job in the first place Tom.On that same morning, Google reminded me what I was doing on 13th March  5  years back.It was funny.Everything changed,"I said while showing the pictures from Google photos.

"You missed them?"Tom asked.

"Sort of.That was a comfortable group of friends."

"You missed her?"Tom asked while slowly tapping my left shoulder.


I smiled.
How could you simply forget someone that you dreamt of getting married,living a life together till the end.

"But Tom,I realized something.I was wearing rings that my exs's gave.One of it had her name crafted on the ring's surface.I wore them for years as a reminder never trust a person but for 2 days, I took them out and to my surprise ,good things started to happen.Those are the things that I wished would happen for years.I don't know if it's coincidence or their thought itself is a bad vibe,but I felt as if I don't have that burden anymore.It was a relief Tom.Thank god it didn't work out.
She was a mistake that tolled my age, energy,money and success.I miss her or what I don't want her back ever in my life."

"Don't say that,the Universe will test you ,you know,"Tom teased.



"Tom recently,my mum went and checked my time with an astrologer."

"Interesting,tell me more about it,"Tom said.

I smiled.
"It was disastrous Tom.In every aspect. Utmost terrible.That is why I don't encourage all that.If they say something bad,I would feel down."

"Do you believe in that?"Tom was curious.

"Partially Tom.Sometime I wondered .Jezz,Bill Gates and you can name them.Those successful people would never performed any sort of ritual to clear their bad time like how indian astrologers asking indians to do,but they're the top 1%.

I was reading Shiva purana months ago. There was a moment when Parvathi noticed a drop of tear from Shiva's eyes  after a long  meditation.
She asked him what happened and Shiva told her that he saw Lord Vishnu is going to take incarnation as Lord Rama in the future.He sensed that Rama will face so much of problem and heartache in that birth and that made him sad.

From that one thing,I learnt that even the creator couldn't change our destiny.
Everything that happened and is happening now is meant to happen."


"Don't be down.Everything going to be fine."Tom said.

"Sometime I would doubt myself.I questioned my self if I really have to do this or give up and just focus with medicine but Tom, there's something in me kept telling ,try again.Take that one small step.One step at a time.Giving up isn't an option Tom."

"Yes! Don't give up or else Pallavi will go far from you,"teased Tom.

We both laughed.That name itself is so refreshing.

"So what is the next step?"Tom asked.

I looked at him.
"I want to rebuild everything Tom.If I won't get any help,I will create one."

Universe speaks to you in the form of numbers

1111

Exactly on 20th Feb,my birthday.End of my karmic cycle.

& She messaged 😍

Started new intention.

🖤

With Niece

Luckily I created them first and remastered it later.
Having kids around,it's a different feelings indeed.
20sec clip,took me 50minutes to complete.When you're reading this in the future,have a glimpse of your childhood girl.🖤

Fake Video Spoiled My Sleep |Her in Every Hero

In the middle of a warm night,loud phone's ringtone was extremely annoying.

With eyes still closed,I tried to reach my phones under my pillow with my left hand.

I took it out but it wasn’t the ringing phone.

Setting all phones with a similar Hans Zimmer's Is She with You from Batman Vs Superman was a mistake I thought.

It was 1.34 A.M.

A WhatsApp call from my friend

.

I answered,"Hello,sleeping?"he asked.

"No was cooking."

"Haha,sorry sorry I thought you would be awake, that's why called you,"he said with an annoying smile.

"Well, anything important?" I asked so that I can continue my sleep if it's just a useless conversation.

"Bro,did u heard about it?"

"What? You're pregnant?"

"Bro..,"he sighed.

“Come to the point,I’m very sleepy and I have to get up early tomorrow.”

“It’s about your girlfriend bro,”he said and that single sentence turned me fresh from my sleepy state.

“Who,my ex?”I asked slowly.I just don’t feel good when someone uttered such words.

“No,not your ex,your girlfriend.”

Since when I had a girlfriend without me myself knowing it I thought.

“Who is that la?”

“Pallavi,’he replied.

“Bro for god sake,please!”

He laughed and continued ,”Bro,do you know that there’s a video went viral about her?”

“Hmm,your tone seems very happy about it and you called me at this time just to tell me this?”

“No bro,I just wanted to asked, that’s all,”he said.

  
“Listen here. When I look at a man’s physical body,I felt that physical body today is an absolute reflection of only one thing.
Not his goal,not his desire but

his standard.If your identity,your standard resemble like an athlete there's an energy in a regular basis because that's who you are.That’s how I see a girl as well.Just because I’m her best friend’s friend now,my dreamy and playful words aren’t reality.

That girl wont even act by exposing herself  nor desperate for a chance.
When someone is the talk of the town ,this is normal but use some common sense and you will know that no one will do such thing and keep a video of it.”

“No bro,I just asked,that’s all.”

“Just because I have experienced betrayal and disloyalty, I didn’t see everyone as the same .We human ,most of us  having a dual character. What people around us know about us and what we knew about our self aren't the same .We all have secrets.

In life ,I came across many people.Girl that told me that she will never forget me completely ignored me.Girl that asked me not to ever leave her ,left  .So I don’t take human ,especially girls seriously.

 I'm not even her fan. Liking someone way too much will turn into an obsession so I don't want to have any sort of obsession towards a human being..."
"But you know,'I continued ,
"There are some people that when you see them,your heart skips a beat.
That’s how I felt when I saw her. Long hair,acne scars,duck like face,confident,I don’t know why,I love those traits..She’s a star but how I see the world is different.We all are one.Homo sapiens divided by gene,blood groups and emotions.The rest are the same.What made me up,her ,you and a moon are the same thing so nothing is impossible but what I want from life isn’t a girl,love ,relationship anymore.
Robots ,Artificial Intelligence,space,going to moon,these are the thing that in my head 24/7.

Going to the moon could be a one way trip so I don’t want someone to depend on me.that is why I remain single.Sometime I felt Armstrong didn't really went to the moon.Maybe they went to the orbit but if they really landed..seems suspicious.Either no man had ever landed there,or they went later but not as being claimed as the first man landing or no one could actually go there.How lunar wave works is still not understandable.I wonder if it would wipe out your spacecraft or there's really extraterrestrial life up ,we can't be sure so it's a deadly dream. ”

“Sorry bro,”he said.

“No bro,don’t be sorry.You telling her as my girlfriend is cute indeed.You know,that butterflies in your gut kinda feeling but these video,bullshit,fuck them all.
That day,when my aunt saw my phone’s wallpaper,she asked 
"Is that your girlfriend ,?
I said yes.When she tried to look clearly,she said,"This is the girl from the rowdy baby song right?"
“Yes,during my wedding please don’t asked her to dance okay,”I teased.
When everything seems dim ,such imaginary imagination made me smile, that’s all.

Have you ever wondered how some one would felt when they’re undergoing such fake news and everyone is excited about it.It’s a single person against a vast group.Even the strongest might felt the pain.

When I was in Bangladesh,I used to roamed around the hospital after classes.I don’t talk with anyone,I just walk from one end to another .While walking I used to observe the people around me.Unlike Malaysia,the entire hospital will be crowded with people.I noticed something.I don’t want to talk about the man,because it’s a different topic entirely.I used to came across girls,woman that took care of their father,husband,brother ,son by sleeping at the corridor.The toilets are terrible but they are the one that took care of everything by staying there.It's a horrible place to stay. trust me.
When  kids being naughty ,I have seen the fathers screamed with their deepest voice but a mother,even when the kids are disable, troublesome, they just cared them with so much of love.It's a beautiful sight and only a female could provide such warmness.That is why you need them and that is why you need to respect a real woman..Otherwise man would wipe out the entire woman population.Thank God we can't produce babies.

There are some girls who are super fucked up,I agree,screw them.Same like the existence of  some asshole males  out there among us.,but there I sensed the other side of that group,the most amazing trait of a woman.Like the saying there’s a her in every hero,don’t treat everyone as the same with fake news."

Third Feedback Came from 15,061KM Away

When people around you said it won't work & but your work reached 15,061km away.

From Bad to Better

Day one bad feedback.

Day two, something soothing. There's no such thing as failure if you see them as feedback than setbacks.

My First Customer's Feedback was Devastating

When I wanted to add shops and business, I said no to big companies and focus only with small ,entrepreneur,student,middle and lower class people so that it would be helpful for them.

My goals isn't to make winner to win more but to make people who are struggling and don't know how to win to win.

My bad luck,the first message wasn't very satisfying.

I wanted to give the best service by sending the best people.For air-conditioning itself we have multiple contractors.So if someone need a service,we wanted to send the best team to them but it ended up such way.

It's okay,will improve it soon.

One Simple Rule While You're Growing

"Why you look one kind,"Tom asked.
I just smiled.Sometime it's shocking how he could read my emotion,"Are you Pisces?"I asked.
"Yes,he replied.
"No wonder."

"Why?"Tom questioned.
"You could read me,only specific zodiac have such empathy."
He smiled,"Now tell me,what happened?"
"Nothing,I was just thinking about something.Tom ,you know what,I have been working on a website."
"I'm listening,"he said.
"I have friends from US,Australia,India,Nepal,UK,and the list goes  on.For this,I contacted almost everyone of them.If it works,they too will earn money but none of them helped.It's normal but recently my cousin asked me 'what are you doing?Doing some useless thing than a productive work.I was just listening when he said that,he was drunk,I felt only drunk people are genuine nowadays so I let him talk.He was talking  about lot of think and he kept asking me what do you have?
"You're a doctor ,did he realize that?"Tom interrupted.
I just smiled."Tom,not only friends,relatives,people related by blood and people that pretended to be close too did the same thing."

"I was talking with my gym owner and he asked me something."

"What's that?"Tom asked

"He asked will you die if you don't have such friends?You have hands and legs right?Don't you believe in your ?Why are you depending on them?"
That question made me think.I just wanted my friends to earn as well but for them it was a different thing.

"After think twice,I exited few group,I told my ex's mum not to include me in her ngo and I just eliminate and deleted lot of contacts from my contact."

"You did the right thing,don't be bothered about it ,"Tom said.

"You sure?"I questioned.

"When you want to grow,your circle will get smaller,you just experiencing that.Keep move forward."
"Okay ,I learnt something,when someone not by your side when you have nothing,never keep them with you when you have everything."
I will follow this rule forever.

1.